Hunting jokes
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Two men were out hunting when one of them saw a rabbit. "Quick," said the first, "shoot it." "I can't," said the second. "My gun isn't loaded." "Well," said the first," you know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn't."
Commissioned by a zoo to bring them some baboons, the big game hunter devised a novel scheme to trap them - his only requirements being a sack, a gun, and a particularly vicious and bad tempered dog. Once in the jungle he explained to his assistant, "I'll climb this tree and shake the branches; if there are any baboons up there, they will fall to the ground - and the dogs will bite their tail and immobilise them so that you can pick them up quite safely and put them in the sack." "But what do I need the gun for?" asked the assisant. "If I should fall out of the tree by mistake, shoot the dog."
The big game hunter was showing his friends his hunting trophies. Drawing their attention to a lion skin rug on the floor he said, "I shot this fellow in Africa. Didn't want to kill such a magnificent beast, of course, but it was either him or me." "Well," said a guest, "he certainly makes a much better rug than you would!"
What's a big game hunter?
Someone who's lost his way to the match.
Two Virginia boys, Sonny and Rick, went out hunting and split up. Sonny heard some rustling in the bushes and, by mistake, shot his friend.
After trying to remove the bullet, he carried Rick to a doctor.
Two hours later, after the physician had patched up the wounded hunter, Sonny asked, "Please, Doc. How's my friend?"
"Well," answered the M.D., "he'd be a lot better off if you hadn't taken out his gut!"
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